I’ve been through many stages with God since I was a little girl. This is my story of my journey with God.
Growing up, I attended a Baptist church because my dad needed something to keep the kids away for a couple hours. The church was free so he took up the offer. I didn’t learn anything religious but it was cool knowing someone else did if they were willing to watch about 50 kids. There was a Catholic church way in the back of the town but it seemed like only two or three old people went. There was also a very small Episcopal church that virtually no one went to. It kind of seemed like it was just hangin’ out.
When my family moved to Las Vegas, everything felt all wrong. Every member of my family, including my dad, got into drugs and alcohol abuse. I saw my brother whom I was very close to as a child, rip away from me to the point where he wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was alive. I started growing up and realizing that my mom was never coming back, she’d abandoned me 8 years before when I was 2, and I still thought one day I’d see her walking down the sidewalk. We had a neighbor next to us who looked just like her…I don’t know how many nights I prayed it really was her. I decided that if all these bad things were to happen, there was no God. And with that, I became an Athiest. I became involved with everything my brother had been involved in, still desperately trying to show him that I was, in fact, alive. Nothing changed except for me, and I hated who I was.
As I grew a little older, I knew there had to be something out there. I wanted to know my purpose but I couldn’t understand. I read about God and I started to believe but I couldn’t fully grasp it, so I stayed an Agnostic until i could find more information.
My best friend from middle school, and a new friend from high school introduced me to being a Christian and I was very excited to learn. I became a member of the high school christian club, I read books and online zines, I was even given The Purpose Driven Life journal by my sister. Then the unthinkable happened: My grandpa died and it startled me. I became confused and scared and distraught. Now of course that’s normal but the best part was that I didn’t shy away from God. I took Him close because I was so afraid. I was able to get through it because I had faith in God that I would get through it.
When I moved to Henderson during my junior and senior year of high school. I lived in an area better known as Mormon Town, USA. Everyone was a Mormon and everyone was happy. I wanted that happiness. I’d lost my grandfather, my friends, everything… I was lost and alone and the church befriended me, so I got baptized. Shortly thereafter I started going to their morning talks and realizing that I had made a grave mistake. They baptized me after 2 weeks of “learning” but I had no clue what they were talking about. It seemed like they were just trying to get people to join instead of having a long learning process. It made no sense. I left the church and moved to Southern Highlands, a suburb of Las Vegas.
Before I moved completely, my boyfriend Brian, a devout Catholic introduced me to St. Francis of Assisi Catholic church. I knew I wanted to know God, and for real, not just so a church could up their numbers. I wanted to know my purpose in life. Brian told me they were having a class for adults called RCIA and it was starting in one day. We decided to go check it out and if we liked it, we’d stay and if not, we’d never come back. To my surprise, I LOVED it. It was amazing to see all the adults there, and though I was barely 18, I was an adult. This church of wonders brought me back to where I never believed it was possible. From August of 2007 to this very day, March 22, 2008 I have been attending St. Francis of Assisi, learning and understanding God and also the Catholic church. I’ve been to several Stations of the Cross liturgies (if that is the proper name) and I’ve been to the most wonderful and beautiful Holy Thursdays that ever existed. Knowing that I had a place in life was enough, but knowing that now I was able to join my husband to be, in the faith that has given him so much, and allowed him to give so much of himself, was more than I could have ever imagined.
Tonight I am getting baptized as a Christian, as a Catholic, and as a child of God. As I take this walk with familiar faces I will see myself in their eyes, and know that they too, are growing with God.
Sincerely, Tanya.
A wonderful story Tanya. I am sure that the Easter vigil mass will be wonderful for you, friends and family.
There is one thing unique after this service that is performed only at the Easter vigil mass and no other one through out the year. I wish you well in your journey.
Tom
It’s called Exult for naturally the first word in the song. Clever isn’t it;>)
This is from the old 1962 version:
Exult now O ye angelic throngs of the heavens:
Exult O ye divine mysteries:
and let the saving trumpet resound for the victory of so great a King.
Let the earthly realm also be joyful, made radiant by such flashings like lightning:
and, made bright with the splendor of the eternal King,
let it perceive that it has dismissed the entire world’s gloom.
Let Mother Church rejoice as well,
adorned with the blazes of so great a light:
and let this royal hall ring with the great voices of the peoples.
Wherefore, most beloved brothers and sisters,
you here present to such a wondrous brightness of this holy light,
I beseech you, together with me
invoke the mercy of Almighty God.
Let Him who deigned to gather me in among the number of the Levites,
by no merits of mine,
while pouring forth the glory of His own light
enable me to bring to fullness the praise of this waxen candle.
Deacon: The Lord be with you!
Response: And with your spirit!
D: Raise your hearts on high!
R: We now have them present to the Lord!
D: Let us then give thanks to the Lord our God!
R: This is worthy and just!
Truly it is worthy and just
to resound forth with the whole of the heart,
disposition of mind,
and by the ministry of the voice,
the invisible God the Father Almighty,
and His Only-begotten Son
our Lord Jesus Christ,
Who, on our behalf, resolved Adam’s debt to the Eternal Father
and cleansed with dutiful bloodshed the bond of the ancient crime.
For these are the Paschal holy days,
in which that true Lamb is slain,
by Whose Blood the doorposts of the faithful are consecrated.
This is the night
in which first of all You caused our forefathers,
the children of Israel brought forth from Egypt,
to pass dry shod through the Red Sea.
This is the night
which purged the darkness of sins by the illumination of the pillar.
This is the night
which today restores to grace and unites in sanctity throughout the world Christ’s believers,
separated from the vices of the world and the darkness of sins.
This is the night
in which, once the chains of death were undone,
Christ the victor arose from the nether realm.
For it would have profited us nothing to have been born,
unless it had been fitting for us to be redeemed.
O wondrous condescension of Your dutiful concern for us!
O inestimable affection of sacrificial love:
You delivered up Your Son that You might redeem the slave!
O truly needful sin of Adam,
that was blotted out by the death of Christ!
O happy fault,
that merited to have such and so great a Redeemer!
O truly blessed night,
that alone deserved to know the time and hour
in which Christ rose again from the nether world!
This is the night about which it was written:
And night shall be made as bright as day:
and night is as my brightness for me.
Therefore the sanctification of this night puts to flight all wickedness, cleanses sins,
and restores innocence to the fallen and gladness to the sorrowful.
It drives away hatreds, procures concord, and makes dominions bend.
Therefore, in this night of grace,
accept, O Holy Father, the evening sacrifice of this praise,
which Holy Church renders to You
in the solemn offering of this waxen candle
by the hands of Your ministers from the work of bees.
We are knowing now the proclamations of this column,
which glowing fire kindles in honor of God.
Which fire, although it is divided into parts,
is knowing no loss from its light being lent out.
For it is nourished by the melting streams of wax,
which the mother of bees produced for the substance of this precious torch.
O truly blessed night,
in which heavenly things are joined to those of earth,
the divine to the human!
Therefore, we beseech You, O Lord,
that this waxen candle, consecrated in honor of Your name,
may continue unfailing to dispel the darkness of this night.
And once it is accepted as a placating sacrifice,
may it be mingled with the heavenly lights.
Let the morning star meet with its flame:
that very star, I say, which knows no setting:
Who, having returned from the nether realm,
broke serene like the dawn upon the human race,
and now lives and reigns forever and ever.